Monday, September 10, 2012

Kitchen Cart Catastrophe

Well, my weekend was a little crazy. Unfortunately, I did not walk or run this weekend; however, I feel I got a workout putting together a kitchen cart with my mother. Two menopausal women, a small kicthen, and screwdrivers, just sounds like the beginning of a bad joke.
Yes, my mother and I are going through menopause together. It is somehow not as sweet as the mother daughter duo in 'Father of the Bride II' who become pregnant at the same time. Going through menopause together basically means both of our homes are cold enough to hang meat, and either my dad or my husband is in trouble. Poor bastards.
So, the kitchen cart came in thousands of pieces. I'm not even being hyperbolic here. (Ok, maybe a little). Everything went smoothly until we got to the portion of the assembly that required us to put the German hinges on. Not positive what the difference is between other hinges and the German ones, but the assembly instructions seemed very proud of the differentiation. So, I of course will continue to signify my German hinges. My mom and I were both on the floor smashed against the dishwasher in my tiny kitchen. She was hunched over holding the doors at awkward angles, while I used all of my gaingly-armed might to screw in eight tiny screws for each door. Four doors and fourty-five minutes later, we were finally finished. By the time we finished, I had an hour to get showered and dressed for the company that was coming over. All of the cussing and sweating that went along with this project most definitely means I was exercising. If you're not cussing, you just aren't working out hard enough. That's my own personal motto, but please feel free to pass it on.
I learned some valuable lessons this weekend. One, buy already assembled furniture. Two, hot flashes and manual labor can easily equate to a significant workout. Three, never bust your ass making your house look nice for company. I did all of that work, our power went out, and we had to move our dinner to our friend's house. Had I not cleaned and rushed to put up that God forsaken kitchen cart, I would not have this wretching pain in my back today that makes me look like Osteoporosis has taken its' toll.
Such sage advice today. Enjoy.


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